My Favorite Quotes

Some of these may not seem funny because you have to know the context. But I'll do my best.

1. "You know that feeling you get when your standing at the edge of a cliff, the irresistible urge to jump? I don't have it."

- Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

2. Touchstone: Wast ever in court, Shepherd? 

Corin: No, truly.

Touchstone: Then thou art damned.

Corin: Nay, I hope not.

Touchstone: Truly, thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg on one side.

Corin: For not being at court? Your reason.

Touchstone: Why if thou never wast at court, thou never sawest good manners; if thou never sawest good manners, thy manners must be wicked, and wickedness is a sin, and sin is damnation. Thou art in a parlous state, Shepherd.

- William Shakespeare, As You Like It

3. "Life is like a bag of trail mix. You reach in and hope for an m&m."

- E. S. Herman

4. Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can fuss. 

Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he likes to scream at us.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no harm.
Fezzik: He's really very short on charm.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we'll all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH.

I'm not a Princess Bride fan at all. I actually think it's one of the stupidest movies ever made, but this was really funny.

5. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

6. "But dear me, let us be elegant or die."

- Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

7. "If your younger brother is annoying you, all you need to do is kiss him. Or just smack and drool."

- E.S. Herman

Let me know some of your favorites!

~Tuppence